Not everything is warm,,,, nice,,,

Started 7 years ago. There are 2 replies by 2 different members. The latest reply was from Beth.
  1. Dear Leslie, aka MSP: (This will be long, I'm sorry, but there IS a point, I promise)! I found you through FLYlady, and would like to comment on the posting/reply re: "Not everything is warm, cheery, nice!" First, let me say, I think you're BEAUTIFUL! This is my 1st time visiting, liked what I read, so I joined. After seeing your picture, I have NO IDEA what Kaysee is thinking, maybe she expects you to look like the models in the fashion mags??? I, too, became a stay @ home mom (again) several years ago, a personal choice for our family. As a mom, wife, stepmom, mom, in that order, I found myself putting myself last, not caring about the way I looked, didn't see the point, etc. DH, who's background is in women's retail, (that's how we met, he owned a store I shopped in), is so great about taking me shopping, picking out my clothes, etc! He is WONDERFUL! I remember exactly when I developed the "I don't care attitude",,,, as he was leaving for work one AM, I was holding my 3 month old daughter, (now 7) & her 19 mo old brother was finishing breakfast. DH points to my stained T-shirt, & lovingly said "Honey, we need to take you shopping for some new clothes". "Why?", I responded, "so I can stain them with baby spit-up, & bleach spots?". (I'm also very practical & hate to clothes shop). After a couple years of 'bumming' around, I finally decided maybe I DID need to look a little nicer. If not for me, then at least for my wonderful DH, who really does love me whether I've showered that day or not! Slowly, I started to @ least change my shirt, & brush my hair, before he would come home from work, & dress w/makeup for school events. Then, he won a trip to Hawaii, for Top 5 sales in the fortune 500 co. he is now with. We had a great time shopping together for clothes for the week long trip, money came from the company earmarked for formal wear for the ladies, tuxes were provided there for the men, (hubby has his own, but didn't want to pack it from TX to Maui). Since he is a Mgr, & we would be around his employees, colleagues, bosses, & 'big bosses' for an entire week, (most of whom I had never met, inc. employees) I fully dressed, every day, & even bought waterproof makeup for pool/beach activities. That was a turning point for me! I admit, there are still quite a few days, ESP if I'm 'just cleaning' that I revert back to the 'bumming' look, but I really am trying to stay on top of my look. As Marla says, we tend to think 'why bother, it's only our kids seeing us today'. We recently moved (how I found FLYlady, for moving/purging/packing tips) to a beautiful home in a more 'up-scale' neighborhood, a month ago. I have noticed MOST of the SAHM's here look fabulous! Also, the kids are now of an age where THEY (mostly my almost 9 yr old son, who was born w/his dad's fashion sense) notice (everyday) how I look. As a VERY fluttering fly-baby, Marla's advice is slowly sinking in, & I am realizing how much better I DO feel when I dress fully. I am finding I may be 'stuck in a rut', as I choose comfort over style. Mostly jeans/shorts, w/cute T's, or tanks. I know I'm going to learn/gain a lot through you, & am looking forward to 'challenging' my style! I purged my closet before the move, and we are now 1 HWY exit from the outlet mall we shopped @ for our trip! That's my history, now here's my 'comment': Again, I find you beautiful, and it's evident you help a lot of women look & feel their best! I wouldn't take medical advice from a plumber, likewise, I wouldn't take fashion advice from someone who didn't look nice! I am sorry that there are people out there who, as you say in the forum rules, don't think before they type! I understand this is a public forum, & everyone has a right to their opinion. However, I see comments all the time, on other forums as well, that are just down-right mean, rude, or insensitive! In her defense, maybe this was not Kaysee's intent. However, some people just have no tact, or their mother's didn't teach them 'If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all'! I'm sure this wasn't the 1st, & won't be the last 'not nice' posting you have/will encounter. And, like mom always said, 'you can't please everyone all the time'! I'm sure you are more than capable for standing up for yourself, & did a great job of it, but since I also teach my kids not to bully, & to stand up for what's right, I just wanted to 'practice what I teach'! I look forward to all you have to offer, getting my home in order, and eventually, 'saving dinner' as well! Baby-Steps, after all! Amber in TX (email address removed to protect privacy)

  1. I am from Texas and Leslie's blonde, casual style would fit in perfectly here! I believe she lives in the south too. When I visited New England I noticed their style is very different there. Maybe Kaysee is from a part of the country with a different style than where Leslie lives. There are many variables that can be considered.

  2. I've lived all over the south, including near Charlotte where MSP lives, and all over the east coast --Boston, Washington, New York, Richmond. And the styles definately do have their particular ways of expressing themselves in these places -- Boston wears such dark clothes, for example, when I was up there in late summer with my colorful jeans, I felt less stylish and more clownish. So you learn and adapt. (I was lucky I was with people who laughed with me about it, and not at me...) Anyway, I think the same thing operated with makeup and hairstyles. Heavy makeup in New York and New Jersey seems to be the norm; not so much in the south. More exteme hairstyles don't always fly in the south either. What seems to make most people comfortable is a more natural look, which I think Leslie has in spades. I'm not really adding anything to what people have already said, but her look is "her look" -- and she wears it with great panache! I also have to say that I appreciate hearing and seeing what people in other parts of the county (or world even) do with her suggestions. thanks for all you do, MSP. Sincerely, Beth

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