I have the same problem! It's often possible to find dress separates (slacks/blazer/pencil skirt) in navy or charcoal, which are less harsh on those of us with more delicate colouring. As a bonus, black/charcoal and navy/charcoal both go well together. Sometimes you can find a top that has several shades of grey, so it "reads" lighter -- like the one I'm wearing today, which is a patchwork of black, charcoal, and light grey. I also look for tops with small black-and-white patterns, and cream or "winter white" rather than stark white. You could try wearing a black dressy sweater or blazer with a collared blouse in one of those colours -- the collar next to your face will soften the black a bit. Picking up on what Julie said, you could try black dress slacks with a dressy sweater or blouse in a solid colour that's dark but not so dark it overwhelms you -- burgundy, purple, royal/cobalt blue, dark red/wine, true red if that works for you. Good luck!