I do so appreciate the message that Leslie is trying to convey to us this week. I do struggle with style almost everyday. I try to look put together whether I am at home or running errands. I understand what she is saying about style being mental and the way we perceive ourselves. I grew up as an only child with parents that had very high expectations, perfection actually. I was never enough, never smart enough, never as attractive as my friends, never as talented. I spent my childhood trying to make good grades, took ballet class, piano, and flute lessons. I heard my teachers tell my mom that I would never be as good as the other students. My father abandoned us when I was 15. I married into a family that never had any thing nice to say to me. I am now in my 50's and still struggle with self-image. I feel like sometimes I am invisible.

Thanks for sharing. It is hard to get around the mental aspects. The fact you are here shows that you are ready to start making changes in your life. I hope that MSP and those of us that post here on the forum can give you the encouragement and support you need to be the beautiful person you are. We are here for you. Are you still married and part of the not so nice family? If you are I hope you limit your contact with them. You have the right to surround yourself with positive people!

I've just read an article - "The Time of Your Life" by English journalist Bel Mooney. She said "you will never feel invisible if you are highly visible - to yourself. ... updating your look in at least one way can do wonders for self-confidence... Freud knew that outside appearance is a very useful indicator of the person within... Being open to change and taking advantage of everything that's available, makes you visible..." I take this to mean "get out and about, take part in things, as well as updating one's appearane".

AHsavannah, welcome to the forum! Although I don't have the same background as you, I too struggle a lot with self-image and self-worth. I've really enjoyed taking more style risks with the help of MSP's advice to support me -- I used to dress like I was trying to be invisible, and now I dress to be noticed (in a good way, I hope!). Of course there are still days when I'm frustrated and stumped, so you're not alone there either. Keep fighting the good fight. Post to let us know how it's going, and we'll cheer you on!

Forgot to say: kudos to you for working on your style -- I hope it helps you to feel more confident. You are worth it!

Perhaps analyse what it is that makes you feel invisible - and try to do the opposite - whether in what you wear, or how you act. Try to get out and about among people who appreciate you. Joine groups and classes that reflect your real interests.

Have you been to a counselor to talk about this? It could be very helpful to overcome all the negative things in your life. A good marriage and family therapist can help you find your self worth.