It's funny how self perception is so different from how others see you

Started 8 years ago. There are 2 replies by 2 different members. The latest reply was from wonderer.
  1. The other night at karate class, I was sitting with a fellow mom. She commented on my daughter being so tall @ 5'7" because I was such a 'shrimp'. She was teasing and I took it as such, and I said dd hated being tall. The mom understood, she is 5'9" and hates it. She is very tall and slim, very much a slim rectangle, where dd15 has a few curves, gentle as of yet, but she has shape, and I never thought the mom looked anything but well put together. Then my younger dd came to show me her new sparing gloves and I told her they were good, and that those were the ones the doctor had. DD was confused and I told her mommy's plastic surgeon recommended them. Now the lady is assessing me. I looked at her and she was eying me up pretty good. I laughed, I told her he was a hand specialist, I broke my hand up over a year ago, and experienced lots of challenges.

    And the light went on for her, she laughed. We had spoken before and she is amazed I am only 4 years younger than her, she thought my 10yo was my oldest and I'd be late 20's, but I have a 20yo, I don't look my age to most people, she said she knew I hadn't done anything done to my face, but thought maybe I'd had an 'enhancement' to my curves. I was almost in tears laughing She said she'd LOVE to have my figure, all my feminine curves. The one I dread seeing every morning, and trying to dress. The figure I'd like to have about 3 sizes slimmer, is one she'd love to have.

    It put a smile on my face. I guess while there are challenges, others don't necessarily see it the same way. My challenges are maybe frustrating to me, but others would like them. I remember getting pants altered, waist taken in and it was a tiny lady. And she smiled, "You're a real woman, all those pretty curves."

    I didn't clue it at that point, I was embarrassed and thought she was trying to be nice about me being heavy. But I'm starting to see things a little different. Even if I don't like being a size 12, I just need to dress my shape well, and people don't really notice that, then notice the whole. I do hope to slim down, for health reasons. I don't want to be a 4 like I used to be, but an 8 would be ideal. I look and feel better at the heavier end of my healthy weight range, even a little over that, just not where I'm at now.

    Speaking of which, I think I'll load all the kiddos in the stroller and go for a walk.

  1. love this

  2. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I agree, things can look very different from the outside. I have a coworker who's plus-sized, but you'd never know it because she dresses so well for her body size and shape. And don't we all want to change something (or many somethings) about ourselves? Curly-haired girls want straight hair and vice versa, short women wish they were taller, etc., etc. I'm a C so I have a big bum, hips, and thighs...which annoys me at times (for example, hard to find dresses that fit both halves of my body) but I know other women who wish they had those curves. To take a non-style example, I struggle with feeling like I'm super busy but not making headway on my priorities because I'm lazy and should work harder -- then my friends remind me that actually I'm getting lots done and I need to stop selling myself short. It's a work in progress!

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